I was sorely tempted to post this photo alone, as a lone example of human stupidity. No, sorry, I mean INSANITY.
Seriously, what?! Just look! They're Uggs...but all pimped out with studs and fringing (urgh, I'm close to retching. Studs and fringing should be reserved for cowboy boots ONLY), and not in a good way. I agree that, sometimes, discovering that something is designer can alter your perception slightly. Maybe because of snobbery-we all know that anything by Jimmy Choo is automatically superior to, say, New Look. Or Ugg. (But apparently not any more). Maybe because, like me, you can't admit anything high-fashion is bad, anything at all, because your sceptical family will immediately start ripping you to shreds, while ranting about about how hypocritical and ridiculous the fashion industry is. Maybe because you defer to the high minds of fashion genii, thinking Well, if x made it then there must be some redeeming quality I just don't get.
But it would be humanly impossible to see any redeeming qualities in these shoes. Just look at them.
I mean, the fashion industry is always going to be slightly contradictory, by default. If opinions were always the same, there would be no change and therefore no basis for the shows and for designers and for 'fashion' at all. So occasional glitches in consistency are acceptable. Suddenly declaring sparkly shoulders and neon colours as inconsiderate to the current global situation, when the previous season they were heralded as a daring defiance of economic depression, can be excused. That, after all, is what fashion is about-mercurial swings of preference in order to add drive to the consumers' actions.
Printing in a magazine that clogs are suddenly acceptable-forget anything we've said before about them-is a bit more dodgy, but still passable. Clogs have been on the catwalk. They can, in a few situations, look fairly cool. Your average prole nods and makes a mental note to hit Clarkes, not Topshop, next time they want a new pair of shoes.
But a collaboration between a vastly successful, highly revered shoe brand which has entered pop culture (that's Jimmy Choo, just in case you were unsure) and a company so controversial that some magazines ban staff from wearing their products (true fact-I read it in Elle) is just so bizarre that, frankly, I'm baffled. Does net-a-porter seriously think that fashionistas from across the globe are suddenly going to be rushing to buy a pair of shoes which are practically fashion suicide to wear, just because they're associated with Jimmy Choo?
I think, if this crazy collaboration is a success, something inside me will die forever.