Friday, 1 May 2009

Pig Pandemonium

It was only a matter of time before I had to mention the swine flu. Being a teenage girl, it is practically a given that I am taking this news rather seriously-and by that I mean along the lines of, "OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE," screams whenever the topic comes up. But seriously-there are so many horror stories/terrifying facts floating around, including:
1. A friend's teacher's father who works on the council of a small country parish was called up by the government this week asking if he had facilities for mass burial in his area.
2. A worst-case scenario figure of 94,000 people are estimated to die in London. Yes, that does say ninety-four thousand.
3. At present the government has enough medication to treat 50% of the population. They aim to stockpile enough to treat 80%. Well, what about the other 20%?!
4. In a letter received from school ,which enclosed a copy of government tips on keeping swine flu at bay, families are advised to have TWO WEEKS' worth of food and other supplies in their homes in case a family member catches the flu.
5. They are also advised to have a list of 'flu friends' who can drop off food and other necessities to prevent them having to leave their house. So effectively we're all being quarantined in our own homes until we're flu-free again. It's like the plague all over again.
6. One of my good friends' family all live in Mexico City (don't worry, she hasn't been there since Christmas!) and she's constantly worried about them all. And there will be hundreds of people all in the same position worrying about loved ones.

There are benefits to this swine flu-albeit only a few. If anyone from our school catches it we get to stay at home, and I also heard a pretty good joke: What do you get if you catch swine flu and bird flu? Answer-flying pig flu.

OK, so it's one of those jokes that's so bad it's good-just. But what the hell-anything that makes a joke out of a situation this bad can only be good.

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