Depression

The good weather has vanished and with it, my good mood. Today is bank holiday, for once I have no rowing, and I've just realised that I also have no social life whatsoever. On a normal weekend I can put my routine of rowing, lunch, bath, lazing around at home, bed down to the pressures of work, music, and rowing combined with the constant tiredness that nags me because I only get one chance to sleep in a week, and that's only till nine on a Saturday. But today, on a day where I have no commitments whatsoever, I still end up at home doing nothing. Yes, I have friends-but those friends always seem to have other plans, with other friends-from my school and from other schools-who I don't know, and I never get included in those plans. There was a time when it seemed that my social life was improving, and I was getting invited to parties and along to those random meet-ups that teenagers in London are so fond of-but then for some inexplicable reason it was other people, and not me, who became closer and closer to these new people and before long I find myself out of the loop with a social life that cannot even be described as stuck in a rut, because it was never on the road in the first place.

At the moment, what would really cheer me up would be a boyfriend or something designer and hideously expensive. But a) is unlikely to materialise due to aforementioned lack of social networking, and b) is just unlikely to materialise. Because.

Heigh ho. Good times, bad times. I thought maybe 2009 would be a little different. Evidently not.